Gifts, Generosity, and Gratitude

When I was nine, the secular celebration of Christmas was banned in our home (for well intentioned reasons). I was devastated. I knew that my grandparents would most likely continue to give me gifts, but the idea that I wouldn't be able to give anything back or participate in the rituals and liturgies of the holiday was crushing. The one aspect that was left to me was the one I would have willingly sacrificed in exchange for the others. Lighting candles. Considering the handmade gift that would best suit the recipient, and then making it. Sending cards. Driving around neighborhoods in our pajamas, sipping cocoa and questing fabulous light displays. Baking and sharing special treats. Decorating the tree as a family, while listening to Vince Gill sing "let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me." The gifts of time and joy and love, wrapped in tinsel and circularly given; the process and practice that lead to the products; these are things I knew I needed in order to maintain a healthy mindset.

After deep diving into my stack of antiracist literature, I somehow ended up with a stack of books by Native American authors.

As I've worked my way through Braiding Sweetgrass (by Robin Wall Kimmerer) one bath at a time (as a side note, designating a specific book for bath reading only has prompted me to make more time for baths and I like that - finally having a Lush in my city has also helped!) I've discovered that a lot of the ways I am are gifts from my indigenous ancestors.

For example, that inherent need to give when I've received - not just reciprocating a gift or favor from a friend, but also things like "I am able to buy groceries for my family, so I will also buy groceries for someone else." A sort of generosity that's driven by delighted gratitude, not just consuming but also contributing.

Having recognized the connection - not a random personal quirk, but more like a handmade quilt passed lovingly down from relatives I never met - I've begun trying to cultivate those traits.

By pouring extra tea onto a thirsty plant instead of down the drain. By planning a whole theme for our food pantry contribution (the last one was "good morning"). By remembering the whispered thank you before a meal. By taking more responsibility for my own supply chain. By giving joyfully and receiving gratefully. By being extra in all of my favorite ways, and knowing that I'm not alone.

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