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#attunedpracticetuesdays: where we share the rituals and routines that are aligned with our sense of peace and wellbeing

I have tried to be a morning person. I really have. All through my teenaged years, my mom (who, by nature or through years of practice, is an early riser) insisted on my morning alarm being set for 6am (a concession on her part; she would have preferred five). I have intermittently attempted to get up before the kids in order to have some uninterrupted time at the beginning of the day - but I've ultimately found that the thing that most helps set my day on the right path is not starting it with the blaring of an alarm.

Since my natural waking time is... not early, let's leave it at that, that required some adjustment to the generally prescribed daily order that leaves one, according to self-help influencers and Benjamin Franklin, "healthy, wealthy, and wise." Historically, we have done school in the morning. Theoretically everyone is at their best and then that leaves the rest of the day for errands and other activities. Except that we've also always had "afternoon peace," an interval which everyone spends quietly in their own space and which I was unwilling to give up, so the errands got pushed into the evening, which experienced persons will know is generally referred to as "the witching hour" (based on the behavioral downturn that neither rest nor snacks seems able to prevent, and is not the best time to be trying to get anyone to do anything, especially things that are objectively not fun).

But recent personal shifts have made me more willing to consider solutions that are outside the societal norms. So I turned off the alarms. I decided to leave the mornings free, for errands or field trips or personal project immersion (for the kids; there's always someone who needs something from me, no uninterrupted thoughts here until they're asleep). And then I took a deep breath and gave up my own afternoon peace in order to spend time with each kid individually.

And delightful results have emerged. My contact-hungry middle comes for morning snuggles in bed and to share a story (either one he demands or one he tells me when he's feeling generous and I'm obviously struggling to think of anything interesting while my brain comes online). We can run errands or go on a field trip without disrupting the school schedule. I can more patiently answer questions and provide support when I'm not being asked multiple questions on multiple subjects at multiple grade levels. I've also built in "whatever you want" time for each kid, which might be board games, art, lego building, or reading aloud. It's been such a hit that there was a chorus of complaint the first Saturday when I claimed my own peace time rather than sitting down for school.

I could have set my alarm for 4am, blearily done my personal practice (which I would have instantly forgotten all of), and dragged through a day that already seemed too long by lunchtime. I've tried that. But instead, I accepted what didn't work and opened my mind to what could, even if it was unconventional.

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