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Fun for Everyone


One philosophy that I hold quite firmly is "if it's not fun for everyone, it's not fun," applied not only to child/child interactions but also including myself. There is no reason for me to wear myself ragged helping everyone else have a good time at my own expense (this also aligns with another oft repeated phrase in our home: "everyone is the same important"). They play at the park, I sittervise with a cup of coffee and a knitting project I don't have to keep my eyes on all the time. On Saturdays, they have "taptap time" (noneducational games on their tablets and supervised internet access to download new episodes of their favorite podcasts) and I read an entire novel in one sitting. If it's not fun for everyone, it's not fun.

Under this model, anyone is allowed input (since we're usually all impacted by the decision). Being the Generator of All Ideas is an exhausting job for one person, and this gives the kids a chance to practice in a safe environment. Changes the kids suggest are implemented whenever possible. My partner is off every other Monday, so my oldest asked if just she and I could go on the weekly Trader Joe's run together, and maybe pop into the Barnes and Noble next door for a book and a treat from the cafe, on those days. My middle asked if we could get slushes one Friday while doing my weekly bouquet pickup "since it's just for you, Mom" and we've added that on at the beginning of Friday afternoon errands. Fun for everyone.

The systems I set in place at the beginning of the school year have mostly held, which is encouraging. The things that have been altered or discarded were because of feedback from the people involved. Everyone's happier that way, and the remaining systems run much more smoothly when everyone is involved, rather than one person trying to drag a kiddie wagon full of reluctant passengers.

As we move into fall, I'm glad to have an established routine that we all made together, understanding that elements of that may still need to be altered with the shifting season. And as long as it's fun for everyone, that's alright by me.
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