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3.1 - Reclamation

For most of my life, I tried to be who other people told me I should be. They arrived with pretty boxes that had labels like woman, daughter, wife, mother, or Christian, and said that the only way to be good/happy/accepted was to get into the box. So I did. After all, I wanted to be accepted and happy, and seen as good (I was also a child). But while there are probably people out there who are the same shape as those boxes, I am not one of them. The only way I fit into a box of any kind is in pieces, and even then a lot has to be left out. It's very difficult to function, much less be happy, when you're like my four year old's Mr Potato Head toy, which is missing the match to every pair and (most critically) the potato body that they go into.

But I'm not a Mr Potato Head, and I finally gathered my component parts back together and put the boxes into the recycle bin so they can have a new life as something else, hopefully something less oppressive. And I've found that I am kinder, more empathetic, and more at peace now that I'm not three toes and an eyeball trying to be a person. That probably shouldn't have been as surprising as it was. (To clarify, I can still be the things the boxes labeled me as. It just looks different now.)

And that began the process of reclamation. Of reconnecting my disparate parts and discerning what is actually me and what is the glue that I temporarily fastened myself back together with. Of examining what came before me (my own personal history, and my heritage and ancestors) and seeing what I really connect with. Of relearning how to listen to the voice of Spirit within and evicting all the hateful vocal tracks I've accumulated over time.

It's Leo season, which brings me back around to my yearly examination of identity and self. I'll be sharing layers of that here, as I have the past few years. I hope you'll join me on the journey, and share your own thoughts and questions as we go.

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