Skip to main content

Home as Haven


In September, I sat down and created a daily schedule. We already had an extracurricular for each of the Bigs, so I mapped out a daily schedule (school for weekdays, unlimited screen time on Saturdays, no screens on Sundays). Last month I added in a Hello Fresh subscription to fill in three of the unplanned dinners (we already had pizza on Fridays and pick up tacos on Tuesday on our way home from ninja gymnastics). Also, since my oldest was born, we have had something every afternoon called "practicing peace" which is everyone in their own spaces quietly for an hour or two (as needed), which is great because it fills time and also helps everyone wind down from the morning, in preparation for the evening. It's been going pretty well.

But last week was the test. One day last week I woke up and discovered that my youngest had thoughtfully shared the "snurfle" he'd had, and also I had started my cycle. And I didn't panic. The Bigs are used to their routine so they carried on, helping each other get their breakfast and lunch and doing their school in the morning. Since we already have an expectation of practicing peace in the afternoons, I was able to roll up in a quilt and waddle outside to the hammock and take an actual nap. Otherwise, I sat in my favorite chair and scrolled on my phone, answering questions when asked and giving assistance when needed. 

My illness philosophy is that happiness is healing, so whatever makes you happy is what you get (within reason). So if my youngest is happy sitting on the couch with his favorite blanket and his "mla mla" (llama) and a box of tissues, watching his favorite movie three times in a day, that's what he gets, and I ought to be able to do the same (with a hot bag instead of a stuffie, and Twitter instead of a movie). We get better and back to normal a whole lot more quickly that way, too.

Not only did we all have a pleasantly restful day, we then proceeded to do it four more times. It was amazing. I read a book. I finished a knitting project. I took naps. I also did a whole lot of nothing, and because of that I was able to stay present and provide needed care and support. Admittedly there is some maintenance cleaning that did not happen that I will be spending a few days catching up on, now that I'm feeling better (head colds really should not exist during pandemics). But I feel rested and refreshed and like I kind of had a break, because I did.

This is the home I want. I want a space that invites rest and creativity. I want good systems and habits that clear energy for fun and spontaneity, or for fluctuations of ability. I want productivity and rest, work and play, in reasonable balance, with none of them ruling us to the exclusion of the others. And I've got it. And for that I am grateful.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

3.3 - Forage

I recently looked up the rest of the Mary Oliver poem that ends in "tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" because that was the only part I had ever heard, and it turns out the rest of The Summer Day  is about going for a walk and lying about in the grass. That's what she planned to do with her one wild and precious life. I feel like it gets misapplied a lot. As the weather grows cooler, I've been thinking about foraging, as a concept. I am a terrible gardener. Even as a child I loathed getting up early and tramping through the dewy grass to the dusty garden to water and pull weeds. As an adult, I stumbled onto the one plant that likes the climate of my front windows but claim no personal credit for their flourishing. If we ever move I may have to leave them here, to ensure their survival. There's also a pot of mint by my front step that survives on rain water or when one of the kids points out that it's a bit crunchy. Plants...
1 comment
Read more

Reading and Writing

  #attunedpracticetuesdays: where we share the rituals and routines that are aligned with our sense of peace and wellbeing A couple of months ago, while working on a commission project , I started a new practice. I was listening to audio books while working since the project required my eyes but not my full attention, and since it was fairly labor intensive, I took the weekends off (not something I would normally do). Lacking something to do with my hands, the first Saturday I decided to put my speedy reading to good use and read a novel in one sitting (my preferred method, anyway). Then I read another novel the next Saturday. And now it has becomes a weekly thing. The only rule is that it has to be fiction - I read enough non fiction that a novel a week isn't going to hurt anything (and it wouldn't anyway, reading is reading). Helping out with Paper Heart Books and attending a bring-your-own-book-club meeting last week helped restock my dwindling supply. I like to get hard cop...
Post a Comment
Read more

Festivals and Fairs

October is the Month of Fun Outings. The weather is generally pleasant, many things are less crowded than they are in summer because school has started back, and there are also an array of local events. We try to make the most of it, since I got used to not getting sick while we stayed in for a couple years so now we ride out the germiest months at home. But before that, we frolic. We'll miss our favorite fall festival due to scheduling conflict, but there will be a small one at my eldest's dance studio, and we're all going to the state fair this year. There are street fairs and at some point soon we'll go and each choose a pumpkin to stack on the front step five deep, and my littlest will name each family member while pointing at their pumpkin every time we go in or out the door.  I've started leaving windows open at night, and sometimes it's been cool enough to have them open during the day, too. My desk candle has expanded to three candles on a cheese board b...
Post a Comment
Read more