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Better Together


After spending a year stuck together at all times (we did homeschool before, but there were still outings and extracurriculars and a few weekly studies where we each got to go to our own class for a couple of hours), we have grown thoroughly sick of each other and then come out the other side of that to a reluctant acceptance that may be beginning to border on enjoyment again.

One issue that we ran into last summer was that all of the kids were at somewhat awkward ages. Neither of the older two could work the swing themselves (we have a disc swing) so that put me standing by the tree continuously lifting them on and off it, while the littlest toddled precariously around our slanted, rocky yard trying to sample everything he could pick up. But there has begun to be a shift.


Last fall I taught the Bigs how to wash dishes (the tallest rinses, the shorter loads) and they've happily adopted that as Their Task (candy afterward likely helps, but it's a small price to pay for delegating a task I loathe). When I bug-prepped last week and had everyone deep clean their rooms, my little collector delightedly received the new storage bins I gave him and has admired them daily since. We got spring clothes (which I never got around to last year, since we weren't going anywhere) and I put a cap on how many T-shirts one person needs and they chose which extra ones to donate. I also got a storage cube so the toddler clothes won't be living in a basket in the closet (trying to remove all the bug habitats!) and his brother built it for him almost by himself.

So when we went outside yesterday, after one attempted escape through the gap in the fence that was thwarted by a lost shoe, they all played happily together for two hours. The Bigs both figured out the swing, they all dug worms together, there was some cooperative ball-kicking, and a reasonable amount of taking turns. 


I've grown bored enough to become creative, and they've gotten old enough to be a bit more capable, so I'm hopeful this year will begin the family adventures. I'd love to take them hiking and camping and exploring. A highlight of my own childhood was weekend hikes and camping trips, delight from the wildlife spotted and creeks splashed in all the way to the cold mornings of dressing inside my sleeping bag and being hungry enough once we got back to the car to be willing to eat all of the trail mix ingredients (not just the M&Ms). I think we'll start with parks, and maybe renew our zoo membership. 

It has been a long, hard journey - not just the past year, but honestly motherhood in general. My oldest had a couple of dietary restrictions from birth (no dairy for Mommy!) and would have required a lot of energy even if I hadn't had postpartum depression. I had my middle eighteen months later, after moving away from all of our friends and family. My husband was deployed for a year, leaving me the sole parent of a preschooler and a toddler with only occasional relief. My youngest has proven the easiest of them all, but is still the third, so I'm very much outnumbered. Every step has been a struggle, likely sometimes self inflicted, but a struggle nonetheless. I'm hopeful that we've reached a stage of cooperation and collaboration, rather than Mommy Doing Everything - I would really love to be better together!
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