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Going Together

Last year I had the wonderful idea to plan a yearly surprise anniversary trip - I choose the destination and itinerary, and give him dates and a packing list. Since Juniper was still nursing and had to come along, we drove to Saint Louis for two nights. We saw the arch, walked around a sculpture garden, ate delicious local food, got doughnuts on our last morning, and had a nice enough time to solidify the tradition as worthy of repeating. I intended to fly to Seattle this year ("where is the furthest away we can get without leaving the US/flying over another country/crossing an ocean?") but alas.

We kicked off nine years with the first of a series of meetings with a counselor (because communication is hard, especially when you live with the person you're miscommunicating with) then went on a modified, pandemic-friendly trip. (There really aren't any precautions that would make me comfortable getting in a metal tube full of recirculated air and people right now.)




If that deer looks familiar, that's because I took essentially the same picture with a different sculpture by the same artist in Saint Louis last year

We shortened it to one night away (since it was Juniper's first time spending a night without either of us, and we didn't want to overextend our childcare by throwing three children at them for too long) and stayed much closer to home. Thankfully the weather was nice for outdoor activities, so we visited a darling bookshop, finally got to see a nighttime exhibit that we missed the last time around, and had plenty of quality local food. It was fun playing tourist in an area that we've both spent quite a bit of time in.

It's hard to clearly see what - and who - is closest to us. The same old same old begins to grate, especially when forced into even closer contact and greater repetition than usual (oh to browse a library! I shall bankrupt myself buying new books). After rescuing the toddler from a sibling who had just "ostrich kicked" him in the face, I had to explain that our family is the core characters of the show that was being acted out. We're not each other's enemy - we're on the same team, or supposed to be.

I was talking to myself as much as to them. I'm a well trained extrovert and I'm grateful that I've learned to listen more than I speak, and to organize my thoughts clearly and concisely before blurting them out, but that doesn't mean I don't have a tendency to tune out the people I spend the most time with, especially when it seems like the same things are said over and over.

The path forward is different methods and new perspectives (even if that's just sitting on the other side of the room) - and thankfully I'm always up for an adventure. I'm looking forward to seeing what ten brings!

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