I did something slightly different this past year and chose both a word and also a tagline to go with it. Torrent: guard your flow . I did not manage to write about it as I was busy living it, but at year's end I'm sitting back down to see where it took me. This past year has been a ride. I feel like I can safely say that I am a completely different person now than I was a year ago, even more so than usual. There were forks I chose to take as well as wild rapids that I was slurped away on, but I'm at peace with where I've come to. I've completely reenvisioned my spiritual practices and discovered new community and new ways of being. I've taken my approach to home and family and recreated them from the ground up. I've embraced and become public about my own queerness. I feel like, perhaps for the first time since childhood, I am approaching a new year fully myself - and that is a wonderful feeling. To know that my values, my actions, and my habits are all mi...

Two photos from each month of the last year, that I didn't post here.

What is the Christmas season without knitting commissions? This year's were remarkably sensical. Someone saw the gloves I wore camping and wanted some... by "some," I mean five pairs. In shades of grey. I understand on a cognitive level that a lot of (most?) people like neutral colors for things like outerwear, but also, I have resolved to start adding an up charge for boring colors. I'll still make it for you. But you're going to have to pay extra for the bleh. These Understory Mitts  came out quite classy, grey and all, and gratifyingly when I gave them to her at a holiday gathering, they were much admired but no one else put in an order. Next I spent a week making a shop sample for Kandy. This Cowlmazoo was a pleasant knit, to the point that when I gave it back to her I picked out some yarn to make one for myself (which went into my hibernation basket for this winter). Last but definitely not least, I finished the Exchange Wrap  I've been working on since ...

It is a point of minor annoyance to me that the Christmas is treated as the end of something, a period of indulgence to be followed by a period of fasting (from food, and from purchases) in January. I don't want to go into the darkest part of the year having set myself up for failure with poor planning or  self inflicted punishments for perfectly ordinary things. Any leftover glitter should be a joyful reminder, rather than prompting a moment of internal condemnation. So this year I'm trying to approach it differently. This is a season of preparation,  of getting my heart and my home ready for winter. I'm trying to get all of my going out of my system, and all my errands run, so that I can more or less stay home for the first two or three months of next year. Part of my desire for that is to avoid the annual ick my youngest vector so thoughtfully shares with the rest of us, and also to see if we can't get a little resting and recharging in, pulling our energy back into ...

One of my favorite things about this time of year is that my middle, who'll be turning seven the week before Christmas, is fairly certain that all of the wonderful extras that happen about now are more or less especially for his birthday. I've no intention of telling him otherwise because it brings him great joy, and honestly may we all feel so celebrated, and so confident in our worth. The way everyone decorates their homes with lights and garlands? The music that only gets played for a month? The drive through light show? The special seasonal events? Yeah, that's for me. I don't worry about it being a problem because he absolutely loves sharing what he loves with the people he loves. On our way to see the fancy silk lantern sculptures at the zoo, he mourned that we hadn't brought his little brother with us (I didn't feel like keeping track of a three year old in the dark and left him with daddy). He doesn't feel less special that everyone  gets presents so...

It's sparkle season! I really do love this time of year. I'm going to do my best to thoroughly embrace my favorite parts (the lights, the adventures, the celebration, the act of pushing back against the encroaching darkness and reminding it that longer days are coming) while evading the parts I dislike (mostly other people's expectations).  I was able to start this season with a lovely combination of both people and nature (two faves!) and I'm hoping to carry that energy forward. To acknowledge the shadows without being swallowed by them, to wrap myself and my household in the best of the glitter and lights.