Skip to main content

Refine...


Now there's a topic I could write on all day... Introspection and analysis bring me great joy, even when they lead to unearthing ugly things, because the problem cannot be solved until it is first acknowledged. However, that creates its own sort of problem, in that I can direct all of my attention toward Areas To Be Improved Upon and completely miss the beauty of the present moment.

The possibility of stagnation terrifies me, so I don't often stop to admire the progress made in my constant pursuit of Better, or maybe just Different. I do try to journal regularly, so that when I become discouraged with my seeming lack of progress, I can go back and see that I have actually changed, but that's an irregular ritual. 

I've always felt that we're expected to be one thing at a time - by why? Why can't I be deeply happy about the spot I'm standing on right now, while simultaneously longing to know what's over this mountain? To refine my heart and soul and mind, while also recognizing that in any given moment, I am doing the best I can with what I have?

This week's 52 Lists prompt wondered where I saw myself in ten years, and I found myself unable to answer. Ten years ago I wouldn't have imagined or desired to be where I am now - because I was a different person then, and I wanted different things. The way it's turned out is better than the way I would have chosen, had the choice lain in my hands, and I am better for it. So, ten years into the future, I hope that I've learned to balance rest with the pursuit of refinement, and found a greater joy therein.

It's Five Minute Friday! Each week a flashmob of bloggers gather, internet wide, to write for five minutes on a prompt provided by Kate Motaung, then link up and share a little comment love. For more posts, more info, and/or to join in, head here.

Comments

Katha said…
You're right, we often struggle with our own imperfections. But only stressing out will definitely not help us, so yes, a balance of rest and improvement is good.
Kelly Blackwell said…
I think it is vital to appreciate where our pursuits have brought us. Too often we get in a cycle of push. I enjoyed your post.

Your other FMF neighbor. - Kelly

Popular posts from this blog

31 Days of Unraveling Designs

It's that time of year again... the 31 Days writing challenge starts today! Bloggers from all over will be writing every day of the month of October on the topic of their choosing. This will be my fourth year participating - the first year I did 7 for 31, and spent a month going through Jen Hatmaker's book 7. The second year I did 31 Days of Sustainable Dwelling, and wrote about local and fair trade living. Last year I was busy but still wanted to participate, so I went the easy route with 31 Days of Everyday Beautiful.

This year I'm diving into my greatest passion: knitting! I'll spend this month looking at past designs and talking about the inspiration behind them, so there will be plenty of regular life mixed in with the stitching - and there may be discount codes for the patterns that I write about. You'll just have to read and see!

Pattern index:

Pageturner Mitts
Hogwarts House Tie
Urban Artemis
Shake
Gem
Graffiti for Humanity
Love Out Loud
Refuge
Strange Jacket
Eft
Junc…

Motivate...

In order to change your knitting, you must first change yourself. I've lost track of how many times I've said that, or how many people I've said it to. Frustrated new knitters wondering why their work is loose or tight or uneven or really anything less than perfect. But something I love about knitting is that it's a record of your inner dialogue. That swatch knit at the yarn store table with a cozy cup of coffee and a helpful (and more experienced) knitter nearby is going to be a lot more relaxed than the sweater begun a week later while sitting next to a hospital bed - just like the knitter.

Unfortunately, this also applies to my own knitting. For years, I was apparently unaffected by the shifts and turmoils in my own life, so I assumed that I was exempt from the rule - when the reality was, in fact, that I wasn't really experiencing any of those on anything deeper than a surface level because everything was deadened by depression. When I finally started to really…

Spark

A few years ago, I was introduced to the concept of replacing the traditional list of resolutions with a single word. It appealed to me - I am not a big list person, but I love language and words and meanings and etymology and metaphor and... ahem. Ennyhoo. I liked the idea.
I've never chosen the word. It's always presented itself to me - and last year was no different. Pacific was very insistent, even though I tried to argue with it. Pacific? What does that even mean? What am I supposed to do with that?
But I accepted it, and I'm glad I did. I learned about depth and calm, about storm and nurture, about faith and adventure - and about the unstoppable ocean of God's grace, that overwhelms to fill and cleanse and bring blessings unasked.
So I'm bidding pacific a very fond farewell, and welcoming spark and whatever lessons it would like to bring. I invited it in with a copper wire punctuated with tiny lights and wrapped around my mood board, and I've got an empt…