Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Process


A few weeks ago, I was in a wedding. It was beautiful, and I'm so glad that she chose to include me as a bridesmaid, and Adam even planned ahead and had a few extra days off afterwards for recovery time (which was brilliant thinking on his part).


I got quite a bit of sleep afterwards - naps, early bedtimes, convincing Tobin that we should go back to bed after his 5am feeding - but not a lot of rest. My dreams were surreal replays of the past few days' events - a kind of apocalyptic retelling of specific details. I was confused by the horror-esque tinge that tainted the memories, because I'd had an enjoyable time.


Then I noticed that after each dream had run its course, my mind would move on to another point. The only solitary time I had to process was while I was asleep. With that realization, I sprang into action. I used a few flowers from her bouquet (she divided her bouquet among the bridesmaids, giving each of a sweet speech on the significance of the flower) to paint a canvas while thinking the weekend over. I wrote a journal-entry blog post that allowed me to set down events as they happened, not as they might (or might not - some of the stuff my subconscious was coming up with was pretty far out) have happened.


I was already a huge believer in journaling - it allows me to put things in a place where I can refresh my memory on them later, and compare the past to the present - but I hadn't fully grasped its importance to me for simply working through an event. Now I'll know to build in time during/after to process my thoughts and feelings in writing.


Beautiful dwelling is recognizing the systems that help you function, and prioritizing them.

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