Skip to main content

All That I Have Seen

This week's gifts...
1255. Maintaining a healthy weight for three consecutive weeks
1256. Adam's new job allowing him to come home at a consistent time
1257. Taste testing a reformulation of a gf/df creamer that I already use and love
1258. Finishing a commission knit, and getting to who it needed to be gotten to
1259. A non-dairy solution to my milkshake craving
1260. Journaling through a few chapters of my current nonfiction read
1261. Whole Foods by myself, and finding a few needed items on sale as they prepare for their move
1262. Brooklyn yelling "Ah wuv you!" as Adam was putting her to bed, after I told her I loved her from the other room
1263. Getting the intro packet for our new Compassion kid
1264. Tobin being hungry during the singing part of church, so I was able to stay for the sermon
1265. Slowly talking through a thought, and Adam listening while I did
1266. Brooklyn saying "Panda kiss!" and giving my old teddy a big muah
1267. Tobin sleeping for eight consecutive hours one night, and taking a four hour nap the next day
1268. Adam coming home between work and STEP and allowing me to take a shower
1269. That all days end, and each day starts new
1270. Sleeping off my headache before Tobin woke up (the first time) in the night
1271. Walking at the park, with no jacket - sun, glorious sun!
1272. An unexpected box from my grandparents - a quilt for Tobin and book for Brooklyn
1273. Catching Brooklyn before she got into anything (there were repeated attempts)
1274. Her delight at discovering she could reach a light switch - because she really wanted the light to be on
1275. An encouraging letter from a friend


Sometimes there are days that seem to stretch on and on and you long for nightfall and the relief that sleep brings. And sometimes there are sleepless nightlong vigils and you eagerly watch for the dawn of a new day. And then sometimes both of those happen at the same time, and neither day nor night bring any comfort with their arrival. That's where I've been for the past few days - Tobin has been keeping me up at night, and the way that one of them wakes up as soon as the other lies down for a nap borders on uncanny, and I'm drifting along on the hope of the fading memory that this doesn't last forever.

But the longer it does last, that harder it is to remember that. But the accumulation of one thousand two hundred seventy-five gifts (and counting) rises tall, an Ebenezer that I can return to, point at, and say that God is faithful, that He has always been faithful, that He always will be faithful - He does not alter when He alteration finds, and He is not shaken by tempests (because He commands them). and He is the Daystar that guides me on, even when I cannot see the path at my feet.*

The unfailing consistency of dusk and dawn are themselves a reminder - even if the darkness brings no renewal, I can find rest with Him, and even if the dawn brings no encouragement, in my weakness I can find strength in Him. He has proven Himself again and again, and yet my little faith still wavers - and so I must keep counting!

*Apologies to Shakespeare for the paraphrase of Sonnet 116

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

31 Days of Unraveling Designs

It's that time of year again... the 31 Days writing challenge starts today! Bloggers from all over will be writing every day of the month of October on the topic of their choosing. This will be my fourth year participating - the first year I did 7 for 31, and spent a month going through Jen Hatmaker's book 7. The second year I did 31 Days of Sustainable Dwelling, and wrote about local and fair trade living. Last year I was busy but still wanted to participate, so I went the easy route with 31 Days of Everyday Beautiful.

This year I'm diving into my greatest passion: knitting! I'll spend this month looking at past designs and talking about the inspiration behind them, so there will be plenty of regular life mixed in with the stitching - and there may be discount codes for the patterns that I write about. You'll just have to read and see!

Pattern index:

Pageturner Mitts
Hogwarts House Tie
Urban Artemis
Shake
Gem
Graffiti for Humanity
Love Out Loud
Refuge
Strange Jacket
Eft
Junc…

Motivate...

In order to change your knitting, you must first change yourself. I've lost track of how many times I've said that, or how many people I've said it to. Frustrated new knitters wondering why their work is loose or tight or uneven or really anything less than perfect. But something I love about knitting is that it's a record of your inner dialogue. That swatch knit at the yarn store table with a cozy cup of coffee and a helpful (and more experienced) knitter nearby is going to be a lot more relaxed than the sweater begun a week later while sitting next to a hospital bed - just like the knitter.

Unfortunately, this also applies to my own knitting. For years, I was apparently unaffected by the shifts and turmoils in my own life, so I assumed that I was exempt from the rule - when the reality was, in fact, that I wasn't really experiencing any of those on anything deeper than a surface level because everything was deadened by depression. When I finally started to really…

Spark

A few years ago, I was introduced to the concept of replacing the traditional list of resolutions with a single word. It appealed to me - I am not a big list person, but I love language and words and meanings and etymology and metaphor and... ahem. Ennyhoo. I liked the idea.
I've never chosen the word. It's always presented itself to me - and last year was no different. Pacific was very insistent, even though I tried to argue with it. Pacific? What does that even mean? What am I supposed to do with that?
But I accepted it, and I'm glad I did. I learned about depth and calm, about storm and nurture, about faith and adventure - and about the unstoppable ocean of God's grace, that overwhelms to fill and cleanse and bring blessings unasked.
So I'm bidding pacific a very fond farewell, and welcoming spark and whatever lessons it would like to bring. I invited it in with a copper wire punctuated with tiny lights and wrapped around my mood board, and I've got an empt…