It's Five Minute Friday! A weekly flashmob of bloggers who gather, internet-wide, to write for five minutes (no stopping, no editing!) on a prompt provided by sweet Kate, then link up and share a little comment love. For more posts, more info, and/or to join in, head here!
I like to keep myself busy. Note that I keep myself busy, meaning that I maintain executive control over what I do (as much as possible). I'm more likely to overload myself with personal projects than to overcommit to things that others ask of me (not necessarily a good quality). If I'm not actively Doing Something (knitting, reading, writing, posting, taking pictures, suggesting walks and outings, etc), then my husband starts to get concerned and asks if I'm ok.
I'm almost threatened by stillness. It's seductively quiet - but I suspect that at any moment, something may spring from the silence, so I hold it at arm's length and examine it suspiciously. If I turned off my music, what might I hear? If I sat down my knitting, what might my hands be called to do? If I closed my book, what other words might be pressed onto my heart? Multitasking feels like the safest course of action.
But last month I started "practicing peace" and trying to be still. When I was silent, I did hear something - grace and encouragement and gentle reproof, asking me why I had so long asked for the gift of rest and then refused to open it once it was given, preferring to stalk it like a cat warily approaches an unknown but ultimately harmless object. When I stopped multitasking and focused on praying on paper instead of while doing other things, my hands were given unexpected tasks, but pleasant ones - guest posting and commission knitting.
Trust does not come easily to me. Not that I've been let down that often - I tend to take a preemptive approach and just refuse to open myself up to the possibility in the first place. But the Shepherd of my heart can be trusted, if only I will... He is ever faithful and, it seems, ever patient as He graciously waits for me to stop running in busy circles, to bring Him my burdens, to rest at His feet, and be still.
Does stillness come easily to you?