Monday, June 30, 2014

Going and Doing, and Being Yourself

Ah, the weekend! All of the weekends (and weeks) that Adam's been gone or working make me appreciate when we get a weekend at home together. We made the most of it, visiting the zoo, trying a new restaurant (J Gumbo's is apparently a chain - and they have both gluten-free and vegan options!), going to church together, grilling out, going for a walk at the park (and sno-cones after because it was hot), and making up for the rarity of theatre movies (and the viewing restrictions of 17" TV screen) by borrowing a projector for a 2-night watching of The Hobbit (part 1, extended). Adventures were had and it was wonderful.

Among other wonderfulnesses, we made a delightful discovery: Freschetta has a gluten-free pizza. It is a pet peeve of mine that gluten-free variations of common foods are, as a rule, smaller, more expensive, and in no way comparable to the original. This was the same size and price as their other pizzas, and while I can't remember the last nonGF Freschetta pizza I had (I've always been a fan of the cheaper Totino's pizzas, if I was going to get frozen), this tasted like a "real" pizza. It was also enough for the both of us to split - and while there is a time when I would have thought that a $10 frozen pizza was expensive (because I was comparing it to a $1.25 one that tasted just as good, in my opinion) now that my comparative is a small $7-or-more frozen pizza that is barely enough for one person and is only just edible, it seems like a pretty good deal. //end advertisement. But really - it was great!

Mommy fashion tip, also from our weekend: do what works for you. No, really - do what works for you. When I was pregnant with Brooklyn, I had long hair. Because it's impossible to work with, I would pull it over one shoulder and braid it to keep it contained. I strongly considered getting it cut, but was advised not to by several ladies who had cut their hair while pregnant and later regretted it. It's just the hormones talking, they told me.

While I do not doubt that that was true for them, after having her, I regretted not taking the chance to shorten it while I had the freedom to just walk into a salon without having to arrange for a babysitter; as suspected, it was constantly in the way. So while Adam and Brooklyn hung out on Saturday morning, I took steps toward abbreviating my morning routine - and the length of my hair. I am extremely happy with the decision, Brooklyn didn't care a bit that it had been cut (I wondered how she would react), and Adam loves it. A win all around - but a personal one. Don't do something just because someone told you to - it's easy enough as it is to heap mommy-guilt onto ourselves, so don't let anyone else add to it, if you've finally found something that works/makes you and your family happy.

Now, since we're talking about what works for us, there is an issue I'd like to bring up. I've seen far too many sanctimonious articles, blog posts, and Facebook statuses and I feel like they're all a little one-sided. A fictitious standard has been set up, and one side is quite convinced that they're right (to the point of offering multi-step solutions to those they believe to be wrong) and the other side is lying down quietly and taking it. So let me say it, once and for all: we are not all morning people, and morning people are not better than everyone else.

I've probably gone and opened a can of worms with that... it's ok, the earlybirds will get them. But really, y'all. There are tired mamas out there (of which I am one) who do not need to have the guilt of being unable to get up at 5am added onto their preexisting stress. To be clear, I am not advocating laziness. However, staying up late so that you can get a few tasks done, have a quiet time, and spend a few moments connecting with your husband and then sleeping the next morning until you are woken by the small (or not-so-small) voice of a tiny person or persons who need you right now Mummy is not laziness.

If you are a morning person, I applaud you and all the tasks you can accomplish before I'm even up. But if you want the best of my focus and abilities, you're going to need to wait until after 9am (unless you come bearing lots of caffeine, preferably in the form of an Onyx Delight...)

Let's have a peaceful cup of (neutral, afternoon) tea and chat! Any fun plans for the upcoming (if you're American) holiday weekend? What works for you that maybe doesn't go along with what seems to work for everyone else?


Rebekah Ellis said...

So with you on so many things girl! But most of all - not being a morning person. I can comfortably get up from anywhere between 7am and 9am depending on the day. My state of wakefulness and productivity will vary, but I can handle it. Ask me to rise before 5am as I must for the summer schedule and I am cranky for hours and sometimes unendurable. So often, we have to be morning people out of necessity without the real desire to do so. I'm all for not demanding that people go there unless they absolutely must.

Kayla said...

I am through-and-through a morning person. I love waking up and getting All the Things done asap so I can move on to what I/we'd like to do. However, as a mom, I tend towards the late-nights. I'm never guaranteed morning time (i.e. if I wake up at 6:30, I could have 15 minutes of quiet or 45 minutes of quiet... and it varies by morning). If I get up at 6:30 and only have 15 minutes, I begin my day in a sour mood. I would much rather wake up with the boy than begin my day in a sour mood. So I hear you on that one. Life seasons and family make-up contribute to the choices we need to make.