Thursday, February 13, 2014

The Place of Seeing God

The weekly reckoning!
211. Fun times and silliness with Brooklyn
212. Unexpected rebates from overpaid medical expenses
213. Tea samplers in cute tins
214. Five Minute Fridays
215. Brooklyn's willingness to sleep in
216. Sitting in the bookstore reading books with Brooklyn, to choose one for Adam's valentine
217. A family day before we all leave town separately
218. Snow, suddenly
219. Big Orange [burger place in Little Rock, who gets gf buns from Dempsey Bakery!]
220. Safe travels all 'round
221. Being witness to spiritual growth by leaps and bounds
222. Gentle reminders and conviction from the words of a sister in Christ
223. My parents' gas fireplace
224. Unlimited minutes for cross-country goodnights


Add to the beauty. That's my quest. That's why I design. That's why I write (probably awful) poetry. That's why I am nearly impossible to go on a hike with (it's like going with a three year old - every 20 feet, if that, I stop because there's a flower, or an insect, or a rock, or a bird, or a leaf, or a pine cone, or... you get the picture. Speaking of, it's even worse if I have a camera with me.)

But lately, I haven't been feeling it. I was sick for all of December, and we moved in December/January, and it took me until the middle of January to start feeling better and then all of the Cold and the Snow and the Ice set in so now that I finally felt like starting to walk with Brooklyn again, I couldn't... there was that whole week where it looked like Adam didn't have a job... Brooklyn still wakes up 2-4 times every night, and every time she wakes up (day or night) she informs me by crying, so the only alarm tone I've had for the past eight months has been Upset Baby... and a lot of other things, some smaller and some larger, that have added up to an unconscious list that was longer (or at least weightier) than my little list of gifts.

So, without even really realizing, I'd stopped seeing the Beauty. It doesn't help that the natural wonders are a little less accessible in Little Rock, but that's still a really feeble excuse. I'd been feeling the negative effect in on my soul, but it didn't even hit me until I was rereading Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts and got to chapter 6. There was a quote that stopped me in my tracks: "I long for Beauty... When I can't find it - is that why my soul goes a bit wild, morose, crazed?"

..............................click.

I seek Beauty, and sometimes I can revel in the smallness of dust-filled sunlight. But at other times my vision blurs, clouded by selfishness, maybe, or wavering faith, or just plain weariness - and then I need a larger, bolder target. An awesome display of Godness to remind me of His perpetual goodness. He gave me a gentle reminder through that chapter - and I'm hoping that with the warmer weather they're forecasting for this weekend, I'll be able to get out with my little family (all together after a week apart) and be knocked to my knees in the most refreshing of ways by the song Creation sings of its Creator, and the Heavens declaring the glory of God.

226. An enjoyable time visiting Adam's family with Brooklyn
227. Grace, it its every incarnation
228. That Brooklyn has started "knocking" (kicking in her crib, which causes it to rock audibly) instead of crying to get my attention at night
229. My Dad's loving care in giving my car a thorough once-over to make sure it's safe to drive home
230. Being able to drive to Fayetteville and spend a week with family on practically no notice
231. Progress made on an important deadline knitting project


"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him."
[Lamentations 3:22-24]

Won't you join us in counting (and recounting!) His mercies anew? Grab a notebook or journal (it doesn't have to be fancy) and a pen and write them down, the join us in a weekly link-up to encourage each other by sharing all of the blessings we've spotted. Catch up on everyone's posts, add your own below (please stay relevant to the topic when linking up!), and if you don't have a blog, feel free to participate by commenting, instead!

Please check out these #NewEveryMorning hosts, as well, and don't forget to use the hashtag on Twitter so that we can find each other!
   Kayla [at] Renown and Crowned
   Dolly [at] Headed Home
   Kelsey [at] Faith Fun and the Fergusons 


2 comments:

Kayla said...

"...added up to an unconscious list that was longer (or at least weightier) than my little list of gifts."

Even in the midst of counting gifts, the temptation to seize what is seemingly an Ungift can be overwhelming at times. The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10a), and no doubt he wants to steal your joy, kill your hope, and destroy your contentment.

I love how your openness causes me to pause and consider where I struggle with the same. And, rest assured, I do struggle with it also -- even if that struggle manifests itself differently. Keep writing, keep encouraging. Be encouraged. :)

Kelsey Ferguson said...

"I seek Beauty, and sometimes I can revel in the smallness of dust-filled sunlight. But at other times my vision blurs, clouded by selfishness, maybe, or wavering faith, or just plain weariness - and then I need a larger, bolder target." <<<--- Oh man, can I relate to this!

I struggle about this time of year, every year. What was magical and completely awe-inspiring about winter has turned into trapped inside, and I can only write down coffee so many times in my gratitude journal. Thank you so much for your post and this gentle reminder. I needed it! :)