Friday, January 3, 2014

Fight...

Five Minute Friday is back!! (ahem. sorry. just a wee bit excited 'bout this...) In case you weren't in on it last year, here's how it works: the lovely Lisa-Jo posts a prompt, then all who choose write for five minutes (no stopping, no editing), then link-up their posts and comment on the post before theirs. It's inspiring and encouraging, and you should join in, here!
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Lately, I've just been letting life happen. That's never a wise idea, but it felt like my only choice in the moment. I've been in the throes of one of those seasons where you keep thinking surely it will get better soon and instead of getting better, it gets worse instead. [Note: remember that post awhile back about more vulnerability and honesty in my posts? Here ya go!]

At first it was just (ha ha. just.) a little loss of sleep - Brooklyn waking up once each night, when she'd been sleeping straight through. After a few weeks, she added a second time, then a third. She's kept this up for the past 3 months, for no explainable reason. More naps, less naps, controlled cluster feeding, introduction of solid food - nothing made a difference. But I started to get used to it, or at least become resigned. Babies go through phases quickly, I told myself. In the long run, this won't last.

Then it appeared that we might be going to move. Possibly. Perhaps. I made a few half-hearted attempts to pack, but Brooklyn is not a fan of being sat down with a toy and left, even if you stay within sight and keep talking to her, so my only chance to do anything was during her once-daily two hour nap - and I already had more than two hours' worth of tasks to fill my time. So mostly what I did was look at things and mentally arrange them in a box, determining the most efficient way to do it, without actually doing anything.

Finally, less than two weeks before Adam's proposed official start date, it became evident that we were going to move. Except that one of those (partial) weeks included Christmas. And I still only had two hours a day in which to pack, and then a few after Brooklyn went to bed, if I didn't do anything else (like, shower.) And somewhere in there, I got sick. I've always been the annoying type who bounces back quickly from an illness and never got too badly sick, anyway, but this thing knocked me out. It delivered a one-two punch with Sleeplessness in one fist and Stress in the other, and I was down for the count.

Sadly, life moved on. Packing had to happen, whether I felt like it or not; relatives needed to be visited and wished well; it's hard to express to a 6 month old your deep desire that they learn to sooth themselves back to sleep at 3am; and so I lost nearly every fight for productivity and peace and started a shameful number of squabbles.

But we're in our new apartment now, and most of the furniture (and the kitchen!) is in place, even if there are boxes everywhere still. Adam started his new job today. Brooklyn woke up every two hours for a few nights, then went back to every four like before, which seems much better now (set up against that comparison). I felt well enough to tote her down the stairs (one straight flight, instead of four!) and go on an adventure this afternoon --- on a side note, if two streets run parallel, you should not find them coming together at a perpendicular intersection half a mile later --- and my outlook is beginning to improve.

With a new year and a fresh start, I'm hoping to fight for the things that matter and seek peace in every other area - to battle my own selfishness instead of pointing out selfishness in others, and to remember that my safest shield is the shelter of the Rock, and that peaceful harmony is always better than being Right or Best or whatever silliness my focus is wrongly set on.

Won't you join us this Five Minute Friday? Whether in the comments or on your own blog, what does the word fight prompt in you?

6 comments:

Tammy said...

Yay for new adventures in new places! Ahhh, but babies.....they certainly have a mind of their own. As soon as you think you have them figured out, they change again. Hang in there! Be flexible! It truly is a short season in life :-)

Blessings,
Tammy ~@~

Tiffany Bleger said...

Oh I have been there with the babies! This season will pass, and it will get easier. I promise. Thanks for your encouraging words on my blog. Keep fighting, lady! Your actions will speak volumes to that precious baby girl!

lorig said...

Keep fighting for all that is good and enjoying the moments with your baby as frustrating as they may be. She will grow out of this stage at some point and you will have new adventures before you.

mom said...

Good luck in your new home!

Kayla said...

"to battle my own selfishness instead of pointing out selfishness in others..."

Ouch. That hurts. In a good way.

I am oh-so-familiar with that tendency as a mom. Seeing my little one's selfishness and disregarding my own. Recounting His mercies is a powerful weapon... I think the best Mercy in the aforementioned situation is truly the Holy Spirit at work in my own heart. Without Him, I would meander through life a grumpy rabble rouser.

P.S. Hang in there through the hard nights! More awake time = more time to recount His mercies...perhaps?

Pealogic said...

Gosh, you are busy. I think the illness was a little reminder from your body that it likes a bit of a rest. So listen to it! Pick your fights and just enjoy time with your baby, these times fly to fast. You'll appreciate it later.