Skip to main content

Fly...

It's Five Minute Friday - a web-wide gathering of bloggers, writing on a one-word prompt for five minutes, no stopping, no editing. Click here to learn more, and to join in!


Fly. 
I think of two different things when I hear that word:

First, I think of soaring, high above this world and its troubles and emotions and pettiness, like an eagle or some other great creature.

But then I think of a different sort of flight. The running away kind. And that's the kind I've been doing lately. You see, I'm afraid, and I didn't even realize it. I don't mind tackling difficult tasks - but I only tackle manageable difficult tasks. I won't set myself up for failure or disappointment, or anything that looks like it might lead to it. And the path lovingly set before me led into a dark valley, filled with the possibility of both of those - but I chose to climb a nearby mountain, instead. Better a day-lit toil to a peak with a view than a blind trek of faith into a darkness fraught with the Unknown.

It's funny, because I still chose a difficult path. Knitting design. No college degree for me, I'm going to prove that I can do this. And, to some extent, I have. I've gotten to travel, explore, and learn - it's something I enjoy, something I believe that I'm good at, something that I can see God's hand in. But as much of an uphill climb as it's been, it's also been the easy way out.

I finished reading A Million Little Ways with the self-satisfied feeling that I had already found my art. Except that my art hasn't been going well - doors keep opening, and I walk through them only to find myself standing in closet, confused and blinded by the sudden darkness. Discussing that with my sweet husband (who has not read the book - yet) he suggested that perhaps the knitting was distracting me from something else that I was supposed to be doing, something else that I was also gifted in but was perhaps avoiding for some reason. And it struck me - because he's absolutely right.

Because there's another gift that I believe I've been given - except that I'm afraid to open the box. Because that one comes with vulnerability, the necessity of criticism, the possibility of painful rejection... and the opportunity to glorify God far more explicitly than I can through knitting.

I don't know where my path is leading me - it disappears just ahead around a bend and behind a clump of trees - but I have a peace about walking around it, and I'm going to add a pretty lined journal and a new pen to the supplies I always carry, even if it means leaving some of my yarn (and security) behind.

Comments

Stephanie Pedde said…
Stopping by from FMF... I too often associate fly with running away from struggles and challenges. Best wishes as you try this new challenge!
Kayla said…
I have always enjoyed your unique choice of words and your sweet willingness to write -by hand- in a tech savvy world. Your love and enthusiasm for writing recently reawakened in me a passion I, too, had set aside.

I am praying that as you choose to walk in obedience in this area that you will see benefits more often than costs, experience joy more frequently than pain. But that EVERY experience would be one that brings your Creator and Savior more glory than your "easy way out" ever would have.

Perhaps this is focus shift for a season. Or perhaps it is more permanent. We shall see.

By the way, in my book, you have nothing to "prove." You are an inspiration for having chosen to go against the cultural norm of getting a degree... You just probably don't fully realize it. :)
Dolly said…
This is an awesome take on "fly"! I can see that your heart really came through with this prompt. Great read!

Popular posts from this blog

31 Days of Unraveling Designs

It's that time of year again... the 31 Days writing challenge starts today! Bloggers from all over will be writing every day of the month of October on the topic of their choosing. This will be my fourth year participating - the first year I did 7 for 31, and spent a month going through Jen Hatmaker's book 7. The second year I did 31 Days of Sustainable Dwelling, and wrote about local and fair trade living. Last year I was busy but still wanted to participate, so I went the easy route with 31 Days of Everyday Beautiful.

This year I'm diving into my greatest passion: knitting! I'll spend this month looking at past designs and talking about the inspiration behind them, so there will be plenty of regular life mixed in with the stitching - and there may be discount codes for the patterns that I write about. You'll just have to read and see!

Pattern index:

Pageturner Mitts
Hogwarts House Tie
Urban Artemis
Shake
Gem
Graffiti for Humanity
Love Out Loud
Refuge
Strange Jacket
Eft
Junc…

Motivate...

In order to change your knitting, you must first change yourself. I've lost track of how many times I've said that, or how many people I've said it to. Frustrated new knitters wondering why their work is loose or tight or uneven or really anything less than perfect. But something I love about knitting is that it's a record of your inner dialogue. That swatch knit at the yarn store table with a cozy cup of coffee and a helpful (and more experienced) knitter nearby is going to be a lot more relaxed than the sweater begun a week later while sitting next to a hospital bed - just like the knitter.

Unfortunately, this also applies to my own knitting. For years, I was apparently unaffected by the shifts and turmoils in my own life, so I assumed that I was exempt from the rule - when the reality was, in fact, that I wasn't really experiencing any of those on anything deeper than a surface level because everything was deadened by depression. When I finally started to really…

Spark

A few years ago, I was introduced to the concept of replacing the traditional list of resolutions with a single word. It appealed to me - I am not a big list person, but I love language and words and meanings and etymology and metaphor and... ahem. Ennyhoo. I liked the idea.
I've never chosen the word. It's always presented itself to me - and last year was no different. Pacific was very insistent, even though I tried to argue with it. Pacific? What does that even mean? What am I supposed to do with that?
But I accepted it, and I'm glad I did. I learned about depth and calm, about storm and nurture, about faith and adventure - and about the unstoppable ocean of God's grace, that overwhelms to fill and cleanse and bring blessings unasked.
So I'm bidding pacific a very fond farewell, and welcoming spark and whatever lessons it would like to bring. I invited it in with a copper wire punctuated with tiny lights and wrapped around my mood board, and I've got an empt…