I've always been a writer. When I was 6, I voluntarily wrote a report on trees (or tees, or thees, or threes - I was unsure of the spelling, so I spelled it differently each time) on a single sheet of grocery list paper. Throughout school, I poured out stacks of reports, essays and poetry. My creative writing teacher noted on a free writing assignment of mine that I could "do major ministry work with words like these." I still value her commendation, and the encouragement it provided.
When I graduated from high school, I considered a degree in journalism before settling on knitwear fashion design as my less-than-conventional area of interest. But I still love to write, and I still endeavor to make time for it. Especially the poetry... my husband knew well how much I would appreciate Robert Burns' collected works as an anniversary gift this past weekend, and I've already drawn inspiration from it.
Writing is the easiest way for me to express myself to others - to carefully etch my heart onto a crisp white page in smooth black lines, leaving nothing to read between them. I enjoy writing letters - a genuine expression of gratitude, or an update sent to a distant friend, and the chance to get out a nice pen and some pretty stationery. Writing helps me remember - I love to journal, and I'm a compulsive note taker. And it helps me make sense of my own sometimes convoluted thoughts - I begin to write, and soon I notice that I've written a completely different word than I intended to.
Recently, I began to write "college students" but it somehow turned into "confidence" instead. And I have lost my confidence - but I've been trying to build it back. Trying to regain the calm boldness I once had. Bravely hitting post and not just deleting every entry in this public diary before it ever meets another's eyes. Continuing to design, even through an inexplicable slump in pattern sales and a drastic decrease in free time. Living out loud, honestly. And writing is helping me do that --- with a deep breath and a pause before I release my collected thoughts into the unknown... [publish]