Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Practicing Peace

Thirteen weeks! Tomorrow she'll be 3 months... a quarter of a year. Her latest triumphs have been catching her feet (they've been taunting her - just out of reach!) and gaining a pound in a week, putting her at almost 12. She's still a 1 in the diaper department, but I have a bag of 2s on standby.

She can roll over, but any time she ends up on her tummy, she promptly gets so frustrated that she forgets how to roll over. We've been Practicing Peace for when her upsetness about life's unfairness turns into upsetness about being upset (I say "we" because that's a trait she, sadly, inherited from me). I realize that "emotional control" and "3 month old" are kind of opposing points, but I believe that finding things that provide peace now will save some trauma when she's older.

Peace is something that I've been neglecting personally of late, so it's a good thing for us to practice together. Right now, Brooklyn finds peace when I surround her with my arms as she holds my fingers tightly in hers, quietly singing (usually a Psalm put to song, learned in my own childhood: Hear my cry, oh God, attend unto my prayer, and from the end of the earth I will cry unto Thee, when my heart is overwhelmed...) and for my part, I've been determinedly seizing small moments to spend with God, reading or journaling or praying or knitting.

It's so easy for me to get caught up in the rush of things, trying to meet everyone's needs and squeeze in a little something for myself - charging off down my own path, without stopping to see if that's the path I should be on. And at then end of the day I go to God with my frustrations, wanting to know why things aren't working out - forgetting that I forgot to ask Him how things should work at the beginning of my day. I need to remember that time spent being still in His presence is anything but wasted.

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